Life

When a pod of 55 pilot whales recently beached themselves on a stretch of Cape Cod, vacationers and beach-goers came to the rescue. By high tide, they managed to save 46 whales. In explaining his motivation for jumping in to help, one volunteer simply answered, “Life.” The same purpose inspires my ambition to become a physician.

通過(guò)對(duì)巨頭鯨救援的事例引出自己的特點(diǎn)和自己申請(qǐng)興趣的產(chǎn)生原因：對(duì)生命的敬畏。這是一種非常形象和生動(dòng)的開(kāi)頭，同時(shí)將生命，這一醫(yī)學(xué)領(lǐng)域中最為基礎(chǔ)最為重要的的態(tài)度作為自己的特點(diǎn)進(jìn)行描述和突出，讓Committee對(duì)筆者的申請(qǐng)動(dòng)機(jī)有非常清楚的了解。

Medicine appeals to my deep appreciation for human life, inculcated by studying man as both a human being and biological machine. The decision to practice stems from a perpetual fascination with science combined with this basic love for life. I grew up capturing insects and watching PBS, always questioning the complexities of how the body works. Through academics and medical research, I have begun to answer this question.

進(jìn)一步對(duì)自己申請(qǐng)目的進(jìn)行解釋，通過(guò)對(duì)自己小事的形象描寫(xiě)突出自己的本性，強(qiáng)調(diào)自己對(duì)此領(lǐng)域產(chǎn)生興趣的非常明確和具體的原因，讓筆者的形象變得非常的生動(dòng)。

My passion for knowledge of the inner workings of the human body led to proactive involvement in medical research, enriching my view of medicine as well as nurturing the desire to continue research endeavors throughout my medical career. For the past two years, I have studied the relationship between structural damage and preserved clinical function in multiple sclerosis patients through functional MRI, under the tutelage of Drs. Cranston and Mahoney. Although unsure how these two factors correlate, we hypothesize that a critical period exists when the brain undergoes reorganization. In a concurrent study, I am investigating the role of the pelvic veins in cryptogenic stroke, funded through a grant awarded by the American Heart Association. The objective is to determine, via MRV, whether the pelvic veins are the source of thrombolytic emboli in cryptogenic stroke patients who also harbor a patent foramen ovale. The results of these studies not only will contribute to the advancement of medicine, but may also hold therapeutic benefits for those afflicted with such neurological damage.

由興趣過(guò)渡到自己的實(shí)質(zhì)性工作，將自己的專業(yè)背景經(jīng)歷很清晰很簡(jiǎn)練的展現(xiàn)給Committee。這部分主要展現(xiàn)的是研究能力。此部分非常重要，通過(guò)MRI的研究結(jié)果及推論側(cè)面展現(xiàn)自己的專業(yè)研究能力。處理得方式非常巧妙

The rewards of medical research lie in its practical application, and there is no better place to observe the miracle of life than in the NICU. Each day, newborns struggle to survive, illustrating the inherent advancements and limitations of medicine. I have witnessed preemies, from 24 weeks of gestation and on, live and die. Exposure to patients revealed that people are much more than collections of cells and organs -- we all share the special gift of life. My role in helping to care for them abounded with both challenge and joy. 

以NICU的工作經(jīng)歷來(lái)進(jìn)一步強(qiáng)化自己對(duì)此領(lǐng)域進(jìn)行研究和工作的原因。引申出自己對(duì)醫(yī)學(xué)的領(lǐng)悟和認(rèn)識(shí)。

My first patient, Baby S, arrived nine weeks prematurely and spent the first month of life in the NICU. Due to the presence of an extrachromosomal fragment, he suffered slight mental retardation. His mother, who had the same condition, visited infrequently during his hospital stay. When she did, her visits were brief and inattentive. I grew quite fond of Baby S, often watching him snuggle into the blankets like a small burrito. Although his sky blue eyes moved in a spastic manner, they gave life to his somewhat immobile body. He rarely showed signs of discomfort, whether hungry or needing a change. I tried to give him the extra attention he lacked. At times, he rewarded my efforts to interact with a smile; other times, he gave me a dirty diaper. 

借助嬰兒S這個(gè)案例，進(jìn)一步強(qiáng)化自己對(duì)生命的感悟。語(yǔ)言的描寫(xiě)非常形象生動(dòng)，通過(guò)嬰兒的表現(xiàn)將自己的工作態(tài)度，工作能力和工作結(jié)果進(jìn)行了展示，同時(shí)讓讀者能夠更容易接受，更容易產(chǎn)生共鳴。

Reflecting on my experiences, I realize that the practice of medicine entails more than remembering and dispensing scientific facts. It requires exercising both mind and heart, along with a genuine respect for life. Baby S and my other NICU patients instilled in me a sense of how precious life is, and I am certain that my current EMT training and planned medical mission to southeast Asia will reaffirm my conviction to improve the lives of others.

總結(jié)自己的工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)中的收獲，進(jìn)一步引申自己的認(rèn)識(shí)。同時(shí)，帶出自己正在進(jìn)行和將要進(jìn)行的專業(yè)工作。

The career of a physician will allow me to balance an intellectual curiosity with my desire to help those in need. By helping man at his best and his worst, combining a passion for life with the pursuit of scientific knowledge, I can help heal and comfort others. I eagerly anticipate a vocation in which my patients fuel my search for knowledge, and that search embodies reciprocal benefits to my patients. When asked why I have chosen a medical career, I can confidently respond, “Life.”

對(duì)整篇文章進(jìn)行總結(jié)，Show出自己對(duì)內(nèi)科醫(yī)生這項(xiàng)事業(yè)的工作信心。同時(shí)，與第一段相呼應(yīng)，把對(duì)Life的敬畏和熱愛(ài)這一基礎(chǔ)元素很好的進(jìn)行了強(qiáng)調(diào)。

點(diǎn)評(píng)：

本篇文章，作者將興趣和對(duì)內(nèi)科醫(yī)生的熱愛(ài)作為自己展現(xiàn)的重點(diǎn)。文章所采用的邏輯主線是以時(shí)間為順序，將自己對(duì)所申請(qǐng)領(lǐng)域的認(rèn)識(shí)和理解的變化過(guò)程一步一步地展現(xiàn)了出來(lái)。

文章的優(yōu)點(diǎn)如下：

最突出的特點(diǎn)就是這篇文章的語(yǔ)言非常精彩，用詞非常豐富，句式非常簡(jiǎn)練但能表達(dá)出足夠的信息，對(duì)文字的使用和把握能力非常好。字里行間把自己對(duì)于專業(yè)的熱愛(ài)非常強(qiáng)烈非常明確呈現(xiàn)在文章中。

邏輯思路清晰，文章主題明確。作者整篇文章都將自己對(duì)于專業(yè)的熱愛(ài)作為描述的重點(diǎn)，更為成功的是這種感情的表述非常具體和形象，通過(guò)具體的事例具體的經(jīng)歷引申出自己的感受。因此給讀者的感覺(jué)是非常真實(shí)，非常具體。而不是那種空洞、沒(méi)有說(shuō)服力的空喊口號(hào)。作者以時(shí)間為順序，將自己在每個(gè)階段的認(rèn)識(shí)逐個(gè)描寫(xiě)，清晰的將自己認(rèn)識(shí)的加深過(guò)程展現(xiàn)給Committee，整篇文章因此條理性非常好。

文章除了著力刻畫(huà)作者對(duì)專業(yè)的熱愛(ài)，對(duì)專業(yè)的認(rèn)識(shí)，同時(shí)還較好的呈現(xiàn)了Committee最為關(guān)系的內(nèi)容：專業(yè)背景和專業(yè)能力。在3，4，5段中通過(guò)具體的事例為平臺(tái)展現(xiàn)里自己的專業(yè)背景和能力。

作為醫(yī)學(xué)專業(yè)，對(duì)專業(yè)的熱愛(ài)，對(duì)病人的關(guān)系是成為一名合格內(nèi)科醫(yī)生的基礎(chǔ)，因此把這個(gè)作為文章寫(xiě)作重點(diǎn)是沒(méi)有問(wèn)題的。但是這是最基礎(chǔ)的內(nèi)容，如果寫(xiě)得不夠強(qiáng)烈，不夠有說(shuō)服力的話，那么這種文書(shū)寫(xiě)作將必然以失敗告終。采用此種方式要想獲得成功最重要的兩點(diǎn)就是：有極為出色的英文寫(xiě)作能力，同時(shí)的的確確是因?yàn)橐恍┚唧w的事情、一些經(jīng)歷讓你有了很深的體會(huì)。只有具備這兩點(diǎn)，才能夠讓Committee被你的激情所打動(dòng)。

同時(shí)一定要注意，空談理想和抱負(fù)是沒(méi)有意義的，專業(yè)背景和專業(yè)能力是必不可少的。就像本文一樣，如果筆者能夠在第4，5兩段中找到更有說(shuō)服力、更專業(yè)的背景經(jīng)歷的話，這篇文章的效果會(huì)被進(jìn)一步加強(qiáng)，特別是對(duì)于PhD申請(qǐng)。

譯文：

生命的意義

當(dāng)55頭巨頭鯨在Cape Cod海灘上擱淺時(shí)，眾多的度假者和沙灘行人紛紛趕來(lái)援救。借著海潮的力量，他們成功的營(yíng)救了46頭鯨魚(yú)。一名志愿者在解釋他的積極進(jìn)行營(yíng)救的原因時(shí)只淡淡說(shuō)了一句：生命。這種對(duì)生命的敬畏也是我立志成為一名內(nèi)科醫(yī)生的動(dòng)力源泉。

對(duì)人類(lèi)生命的深深敬畏是醫(yī)學(xué)吸引我的起因，同時(shí)這種吸引在我對(duì)人這既是人又是生物機(jī)械的研究中被一次又一次地加深。對(duì)生命純樸的熱愛(ài)以及對(duì)科學(xué)永不厭倦的熱愛(ài)讓我毫不猶豫的將自己獻(xiàn)身于這項(xiàng)偉大的事業(yè)。自幼時(shí)捕捉昆蟲(chóng)，觀察PBS的我，就對(duì)常常那些機(jī)體的工作原理的復(fù)雜性好奇不已。通過(guò)學(xué)習(xí)和相關(guān)的研究，我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)能開(kāi)始回答自己的這些疑問(wèn)了。

對(duì)人體內(nèi)部工作機(jī)理知識(shí)的強(qiáng)烈渴望讓我有對(duì)醫(yī)學(xué)的研究有強(qiáng)大的激情，這種激情既極大的豐富了我在醫(yī)學(xué)領(lǐng)域的視野，也培養(yǎng)了我為我的我的醫(yī)學(xué)事業(yè)繼續(xù)奮斗的更大渴望。在過(guò)去的兩年，我在Drs. Cranston and Mahoney的指導(dǎo)下，使用功能MRI對(duì)多發(fā)性硬化癥患者結(jié)構(gòu)損壞和臨床保存功能之間的關(guān)系進(jìn)行了研究。雖然這兩者之間的相互作用關(guān)系還沒(méi)有弄清楚，但我們推測(cè)，當(dāng)大腦經(jīng)歷重組時(shí)有一個(gè)重要的時(shí)期存在。在目前的階段，我正在研究骨盆腔靜脈在隱中風(fēng)重的作用。這個(gè)項(xiàng)目是由美國(guó)心臟學(xué)會(huì)資助的。 此項(xiàng)目的目的就在于，通過(guò)MRV探索骨盆腔靜脈血栓是否是那些具有卵圓孔未閉病人患隱中風(fēng)的根源。這項(xiàng)研究的結(jié)果不僅會(huì)對(duì)藥品改進(jìn)做出巨大貢獻(xiàn)，同時(shí)也會(huì)對(duì)那些患神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)受損疾病的病人的治療帶來(lái)極大的好處。
 
醫(yī)學(xué)研究最大的收獲來(lái)源于實(shí)際應(yīng)用，沒(méi)有任何一個(gè)地方比NICU更適合觀察生命的奇跡了。每一天，新一名生兒的降生，他們頑強(qiáng)的生命力很好的揭示了醫(yī)學(xué)固有的進(jìn)步和其自身的缺陷。我見(jiàn)證過(guò)妊娠僅24周的早產(chǎn)兒的出生，掙扎后的死亡。同病人的長(zhǎng)期接觸讓我更深刻的理解，人類(lèi)遠(yuǎn)不是像細(xì)胞和器官純粹的組合那么簡(jiǎn)單。全人類(lèi)都在享受著生命所帶來(lái)的特殊禮物。在幫助和照料他們的工作中充滿了挑戰(zhàn)和快樂(lè)。

我的第一個(gè)病人，嬰兒S，提前9 周出生并且在NICU里度過(guò)生活的第一個(gè)月。 由于存在一個(gè)染色體外碎片，他有輕微的智障。和他有同樣問(wèn)題的目前在他住院期間很少去探視他，就算去，時(shí)間也很短，顯得漫不經(jīng)心。我變得十分喜歡嬰兒S，經(jīng)常看他象一塊小的玉米粉圓餅一樣依偎進(jìn)毯子。 雖然他的天藍(lán)色的眼睛以痙攣性的方式移動(dòng)，這雙眼睛也在一定程度給他那不能移動(dòng)的身體以生命。在感到饑餓或需要換尿布時(shí)，他很少感到不安。我盡我自己最大的努力去彌補(bǔ)他所缺少的關(guān)懷。有時(shí)，他對(duì)我努力的獎(jiǎng)賞是微笑；而其他時(shí)間，則是臟尿布。

這些經(jīng)驗(yàn)讓我意識(shí)到，醫(yī)學(xué)實(shí)踐遠(yuǎn)比簡(jiǎn)單的記憶和機(jī)械的將科學(xué)現(xiàn)象對(duì)號(hào)入座要復(fù)雜系統(tǒng)得多。它要求思想和心靈的修煉，要具備對(duì)生命的最真誠(chéng)的尊敬。嬰兒S和我的其他病人為我灌輸了一種強(qiáng)烈的思想感受：生命是多么的寶貴！同時(shí)，我相信我正在進(jìn)行的EMI培訓(xùn)和計(jì)劃進(jìn)行的東南亞醫(yī)學(xué)任務(wù)將進(jìn)一步增強(qiáng)我改變其他人生活的信念。

內(nèi)科醫(yī)生的職業(yè)既能滿足我的好奇心，同時(shí)也能滿足我對(duì)那些需要幫助者提供救助的強(qiáng)烈渴望。對(duì)生命的酷愛(ài)與對(duì)科學(xué)知識(shí)的強(qiáng)烈求知欲望，讓我有信心將能治愈并撫慰那些需要幫助的病人。我渴望能夠投身于這項(xiàng)事業(yè)，在這里，病人是我對(duì)知識(shí)學(xué)習(xí)和追求的永恒動(dòng)力，這個(gè)不斷追尋的過(guò)程中我和我的病人都將獲得極大的益處。如果問(wèn)我為什么要投身醫(yī)療事業(yè)，我的答案非常簡(jiǎn)單，也非常堅(jiān)定——生命。