I am applying to (Name of School) for the Masters of Social Work program. My career goal is to work with underprivileged adolescents, especially those with a history of behavioral and emotional problems. I have significant background in this area; in addition to a full-time position with a recruitment firm, I am a relief counselor for this target group in a residential treatment setting. I want to complement this practical experience with specialized training in order to best serve these individuals.
點(diǎn)評(píng):開篇直入主題,說明自己正在申請(qǐng)社會(huì)工作碩士這個(gè)項(xiàng)目,點(diǎn)明了自己的職業(yè)目標(biāo)以及目前所從事的相關(guān)工作,為下文埋下伏筆。
My desire for this profession springs from the troubles of my childhood. In my youth, I was a ward of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts--in essence, a foster child. Both of my birth parents abused me physically and emotionally, prompting the courts to permanently remove me from their power. I subsequently moved through a succession of foster homes and adolescent shelters. My high school years were therefore highly traumatic; I could not have survived them without the aid of the counselors and social workers that were so kind to me. Yet my problems did not end at the emotional level. I constantly battled financial difficulties in order to graduate high school and embark on a college career. I was essentially paying my way through college on minimum wage--a monumental task. My first two years of college proved quite difficult because of this. But I persevered, and achieved an overall G.P.A. of 3.5 during my final two years at school. I also dedicated much time to campus activities, in which I held a number of leadership positions.
點(diǎn)評(píng):作者介紹了自己艱苦的童年和艱難的專業(yè)學(xué)習(xí)過程,但是童年的經(jīng)歷不僅僅是要表達(dá)作者的毅力,更重要的是要表達(dá)他自己的親身經(jīng)歷,會(huì)讓他對(duì)社會(huì)工作這個(gè)職業(yè)有更深入得理解和認(rèn)識(shí)。而且在艱苦的條件下取得了良好的成績(jī),又從一方面體現(xiàn)了作者學(xué)習(xí)的才能。這種個(gè)性的經(jīng)歷會(huì)讓申請(qǐng)人的背景與眾不同。
Today, I work with an international recruitment firm that allows me to travel through the United States and Europe. This has given me a sense of accomplishment and maturity, yet I feel a deep void in my life. I need to give back to the community that helped me so much. I know what it is like to be on the “receiving end” of social work--I was the one who stayed with foster families after the social workers had gone home. I am thus in a unique position to understand the conflicts within the hearts of troubled adolescents. I comprehend, for instance, the importance of such issues as trust. And a child in this setting would be naturally more inclined to trust someone who has already experienced “the system” firsthand.
點(diǎn)評(píng):本段重點(diǎn)介紹了作者的內(nèi)心世界,由于童年的經(jīng)歷激發(fā)了自己對(duì)這個(gè)行業(yè)的熱愛,并明白對(duì)于這樣的人更能和有過類似經(jīng)歷的人更親近。這樣的優(yōu)勢(shì)是任何其他申請(qǐng)人所不具備的,這自然會(huì)讓作者比其他申請(qǐng)人更具有優(yōu)勢(shì)。
My background, my ambition, and my resourcefulness are ample demonstration of the valuable addition I would be to your social work program. I share close bonds of understanding with my target community, and feel that I can make a significant difference in their lives with the aid of a Master’ s Degree in Social Work from your institution.
點(diǎn)評(píng):前幾段已經(jīng)對(duì)自己學(xué)習(xí)動(dòng)機(jī)的產(chǎn)生,自己親身經(jīng)歷和專業(yè)經(jīng)歷進(jìn)行了很好的闡述,在結(jié)尾總結(jié)性的直接陳述了自己的優(yōu)勢(shì),說明自己的價(jià)值能通過這個(gè)項(xiàng)目為學(xué)校以及同學(xué)帶來積極的影響。
整體點(diǎn)評(píng):
文章大綱:
本文分四個(gè)部分,第一部分開篇直入主題,說明自己正在申請(qǐng)社會(huì)服務(wù)碩士這個(gè)項(xiàng)目,點(diǎn)明了自己的職業(yè)目標(biāo)以及目前所從事的工作,為下文埋下伏筆。
第二段部分,主要介紹了自己艱苦奮斗的經(jīng)歷,一方面在情感上打動(dòng)讀者,最重要的無形的體現(xiàn)了通過個(gè)人經(jīng)歷體現(xiàn)他在這方面的豐富經(jīng)歷。
第三部分主要描寫自己的心理活動(dòng),展示了內(nèi)心的轉(zhuǎn)變以及申請(qǐng)這個(gè)項(xiàng)目的決心。
第四部分直接闡述了自己的價(jià)值以及能為對(duì)方學(xué)校帶來的影響。
主題內(nèi)容:
本文由作者小時(shí)候坎坷的經(jīng)歷為主線,體現(xiàn)了自己堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的毅力和艱苦奮斗的精神,突出了自己在社會(huì)工作這方面的情感和興趣, 正是由于這些深刻的經(jīng)歷說明自己適合社區(qū)服務(wù)這個(gè)項(xiàng)目。
素材取材:本文取材主要是根據(jù)自己的親身經(jīng)歷和該專業(yè)特有的心理活動(dòng)展開,襯托自己明確的目的。
立意:以自己的真實(shí)經(jīng)歷和心理活動(dòng)為中心,表明對(duì)這個(gè)項(xiàng)目的適合。
可以借鑒的地方:
這篇文章是跨專業(yè)申請(qǐng),但是轉(zhuǎn)的非常自然,語言簡(jiǎn)練,而且主題表達(dá)明確,全篇邏輯很好。把PS中需要體現(xiàn)的興趣、艱苦奮斗的過程以及相關(guān)的個(gè)性經(jīng)歷、自己的成就、對(duì)自身和今后發(fā)展的認(rèn)識(shí)、出國(guó)學(xué)習(xí)的必要性和迫切性都表達(dá)出來了;并且充分體現(xiàn)了自己的價(jià)值。最值得借鑒的地方就是作者分析清楚了該專業(yè)的核心所在,并挖掘自己一起可用的資源進(jìn)行闡述。有的放矢是我們一直要堅(jiān)持的方法。
譯文:
我正在申請(qǐng)社會(huì)工作方向的碩士項(xiàng)目,我的職業(yè)目標(biāo)是和那些窮苦的青少年一起工作,尤其那些在行為和情緒上有過坎坷經(jīng)歷的人。我在這方面有重要的背景,我除了在一個(gè)獵頭公司做全職之外,我還為目標(biāo)群體在住宅待遇安置方面做調(diào)劑顧問。我想利用這個(gè)為個(gè)體服務(wù)的專門訓(xùn)練補(bǔ)充實(shí)踐經(jīng)歷。
我對(duì)這個(gè)職業(yè)的渴望來源于我坎坷的童年。在我小的時(shí)候,我基本是在麻省行政監(jiān)護(hù)下成長(zhǎng),因?yàn)槲业挠H生父母在身體上和精神上虐待我,促使法院將我和他們永久的解除了關(guān)系,我后來一直在一些撫養(yǎng)孤兒的家庭和青少年庇護(hù)所生活,因此我在中學(xué)階段還有很深的創(chuàng)傷,如果沒有援助顧問和社會(huì)工作者對(duì)我的關(guān)懷,我就不能活到現(xiàn)在。但是我的情緒并沒有因此而平靜,為了我能順利地中學(xué)畢業(yè)以便進(jìn)入大學(xué)學(xué)習(xí),我堅(jiān)持不懈地和經(jīng)濟(jì)困難作斗爭(zhēng);我靠學(xué)校超低的工資來勉強(qiáng)維持我的生活,所以我大學(xué)前兩年非常的艱難,但是我堅(jiān)持下來了,并且在最后兩年我獲得了3.5的GPA。此外,我還用了很多時(shí)間參加學(xué)校各項(xiàng)活動(dòng),勝任了許多領(lǐng)導(dǎo)職位。
現(xiàn)在我在一個(gè)國(guó)際獵頭公司任職,這樣就允許我在美國(guó)和歐洲之間穿梭。而且我就有了非常成熟完善的見識(shí),但也我的內(nèi)心世界感到空虛。我需要回到給我那么多幫助的社團(tuán)。我清楚我最喜歡的職業(yè)還是做一名社會(huì)工作者,由于我曾經(jīng)是其中的一員,因而我能夠更容易理解這些貧困青少年內(nèi)心的沖突。我理解,比如,信賴在這個(gè)問題中的重要性。一個(gè)孩子很容易一個(gè)也有著和自己同樣經(jīng)歷的人等等。
我的背景,我的雄心和我的智謀非常充足的證明了我的價(jià)值。我會(huì)通過這個(gè)Master’ s Degree分享我的理解給周圍的同學(xué)帶來積極的意義。
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