Lives are incomplete with out dreams and goals

Our lives are full of dreams and goals. A long-term goal may be: I want to go to university after the high school, while a short term goal may be: I want to go to school on time tomorrow. Therefore dreams and goals are a part of our life. Even though it is hard to follow a dream sometimes dreams provide meaning and enrichment. In the film” October Sky “, directed by Joe Johnston, the main character Homer Hickhem has a dream of becoming a rocket scientist. During the way to get the goal, he becomes more mature to understand each other. Similarly in the novel Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck. George and Lennie have a dream to get a piece of small land of their own, which makes their life more hopeful than others. In the same way, my big brother has a dream to get a PhD degree in physics. This dream is very powerful and this makes him to achieve his goal.

From the film “ October Sky “, the main character Homer Hickham has a dream to become a rocket scientist. If he didn’t have this dream, he would become a miner like his father. In his father’s mind, he would be a good son who follows in his father’s footsteps; but this is not what Homer actually wants, if he does like this  his life would be empty and hopeless. Because of his dream, he has to improve his math skills by talking with Quentin, a very intelligent student. He has to go against his father who does everything to change his mind. Even though it is a very hard time in his life , he accomplishes a great deal by the end of the film. His rocket flies successfully, he fixes the relationship between his father, and he finds a girl who truly loves him.

sometimes,Having and sharing a dream are not enough to bring it to fruition but it will make life more meaningful and more complete. In the novel Of “Mice and Men”, the main characters George and Lennie have a dream to make enough money to live” off the fat of the land “. They wish to be their own bosses someday. Because of this dream, they are staying out of trouble, not spending money on liquor or in bordellos, and working on a ranch as long as possible to save money for a down payment on the price of the land. That is why they look different from other men. Sharing a dream also improves their friendship and it becomes the other men’s dream too.

Another example which can prove why people need to set strong goals and dreams for themselves is my big brother’s experience. My big brother Cheng is now studying in the physics program of Wuhan University, and he wants to get a PhD degree of physics. He started interested in math and physics when he was in junior high. He put a great deal of effect into these subjects. Obviously he can always get a very good mark in physics and math. On the other hand, he was an awful student in language arts and social studies. He started to change his mind during the first year of high school when his teacher told him that if he didn’t get a good mark in language arts and social studies, he could not able to go university. He awaked and realized he had to work hard in these subjects. He changed his mind and decided to pay attention to language arts and social studies. As you know, he is at the university and successfully moves forward with his dream.

With out dreams, Homer would have to at the mine and spends his entire life in darkness. With out dreams, George and Lennie would have had to work at ranch and live like the other men, with out hope and a future. With out dreams, my big brother would not have a goal to achieve. Humans give meaning to their lives and their futures by creating dreams. Without dreams and goals, life is an endless, dark day that has little vital and meaning.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：

文章內(nèi)容：

文章主要通過三個(gè)不同的例子來說明每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該有讓我們?nèi)^斗的理想。第一個(gè)說的是電影中的人物Homer如何在家庭的壓力和能力不足的情況下一直懷揣夢(mèng)想，最終圓滿收?qǐng)?。第二個(gè)例子講斯坦拂克代表作《人鼠記》中的兩個(gè)主人公，他們的夢(mèng)想讓他們有了一種和別人不一樣的生活。最后一個(gè)例子是自己身邊的事，關(guān)于作者的哥哥，通過努力從一個(gè)成績(jī)平平的學(xué)生到名校大學(xué)生的過程。最后指出沒有夢(mèng)想的生活是多么乏力、漫長(zhǎng)，而有了理想，生活就變的豐富且充滿希望。

文章選題：

這篇文章大致可以歸為“追求理想篇”。分別從電影、小說、身邊找論據(jù)進(jìn)行說明。

文章結(jié)構(gòu)：

典型的三段式結(jié)構(gòu)。開頭提出觀點(diǎn)，中間分三段來舉例說明，結(jié)尾進(jìn)行總結(jié)。

綜合點(diǎn)評(píng)：

優(yōu)點(diǎn)：1）結(jié)構(gòu)還算清晰，采用三段式。各個(gè)部分的作用也都分別體現(xiàn)在文章中。2）從不同的角度選論據(jù)，使文章更具有說服力。

缺點(diǎn)：1）語法上的錯(cuò)誤。2）文章中的一些句子和詞經(jīng)常重復(fù)，使文章顯的拖沓，冗長(zhǎng)。3）整篇文章的段落結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰（之所以說比較清晰是因?yàn)樵诘厝瓮蝗怀霈F(xiàn)一個(gè)“分享夢(mèng)想”的主題，和文章的主題并存，這樣不但沒有深化主題，反而使主題變得模糊起來），但是每個(gè)段落中的具體結(jié)構(gòu)卻有些亂，思路不清。