Question: If someone were to look through your bedroom, what do you hope your possessions would convey about you?

如果有人來參觀你的臥室，你希望用什么樣的物品來說明你的個性？

A typical teen's room? In some respects, yes, but in many ways, my room has become an extension of my personality, interests and values. Upon entering, one would probably notice the lack of any music group, scantily clad female model, or indeed, any adornment at all on my walls. I prefer the unsoiled look of clean walls, which provide a sense of calm. However, my room is far from military precision and order; my bed lies unmade and yesterday's wardrobe gathers dust on the floor. The visitor may consider my room tidy, but not inflexible.

一間典型的十多歲的少年的房間？在某些方面來說，是的。但從更多方面看，我的房間已經(jīng)成為我個性、興趣和價值觀的延續(xù)。一進(jìn)入我的房間，人們可能會發(fā)現(xiàn)我房間的墻上沒有任何樂隊、美女模特的海報。我喜歡干凈整潔的墻壁，這給我一種平靜的感覺。然而，我的房間并不是軍事化的擺設(shè)，我的床就像沒動過一樣，昨天的衣服也積著灰塵放在地板上。來訪者可能會認(rèn)為我的房間很整齊，并且不是一成不變的。

While touring my room, one would surely stop to look through the room's workspace, my desk and computer. The desktop is fairly organized, consisting of a pencil holder, desk calendar, and assorted textbooks. The calendar is full of important dates-tests, deadlines, and of course, the rare days off from school. Academics are one of my highest priorities, but would be useless without occasional relaxation. Above my desk hangs a bulletin board. Similar to the calendar, it holds important pieces of information, as well as a few personal items. A postcard, a present from my grandfather, would likely catch one's eye. The postcard is from my homeland, and includes a famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi. It reminds me of the country I was born in, and the ties I have to my original culture. Directly below the postcard hang a few baby pictures of myself, mementos of a simpler time. Alongside my desk is a computer, without which I could not survive. The slightly outdated, yet fully competent Apple Macintosh aids with school, and, nearly any other activity I participate in. The Mac also has a modem, connecting me to the global community linked through the Internet. I am very interested in the Internet, and have found it a very useful source of information for everything ranging from tomorrow's weather to buying a new car. Upon leaving my workspace, I hope my possessions would convey that I am serious about my work, but I approach it with practicality and a grain of salt.

每個參觀我房間的人都會注意到我的工作間，桌子和電腦。桌面上理的很整齊，放著筆盒，臺歷，和分好類的各種教科書。臺歷上注滿了各種重要的日期，包括考試，作業(yè)的截止，以及生活中的重要日子。學(xué)習(xí)對我來說是最重要的事，但我也不會放棄偶爾的放松。桌子的上面掛著一塊公告處于。和臺歷類似，上面也記滿了各種重要的信息，和一些個人物品。一張來自我祖父的明信片可能會引起不少人的注意。這張明信片是從我祖國寄出來的，上面還有圣雄甘地的名言。它提醒著我的出生地，我的文化。明信片下面是一些我幼時的照片，紀(jì)念童年時簡單的時光。桌子的一邊是我一旦離開就無法生存的電腦。雖然有一點過時，但是仍然完全勝任的蘋果電腦幫助我參與了許多活動。同時我的蘋果電腦通過調(diào)制解調(diào)器與網(wǎng)絡(luò)相聯(lián)。我對網(wǎng)絡(luò)十分感興趣，我發(fā)現(xiàn)可以在網(wǎng)絡(luò)上找到任何我感興趣的信息，無論是明天的天氣還是買一輛新車。當(dāng)離開我的工作間的時候，我希望我的物品能讓人覺的我對工作很認(rèn)真，并且從實際出來發(fā)做事情。

On the other side of my room lies my relaxation area, commonly referred to as a bed. Strewn about the bed are two magazines which represent my interests, MacWorld and Time. I read these magazines daily, to keep up with current events as well as advancements in the information age. Atop my bureau lays the latest work by Stephen King. The content may not be as deep and insightful as Jane Austen's or Keats, but his stories serve their purpose in providing light enter-tainment. The bed is unmade, a fact for which I feel no remorse. Although my mother disapproves, I consider an unmade bed a symbol of rest and quietude. My bed may be considered utilitarian, for its uses are not limited to sleeping upon. Some of my best moments of focus and concentration have occurred while lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, producing thoughts ranging from T.V. shows to pondering college life. Few teen rooms can be considered complete without a loud stereo and an assorted collection of tapes and C.D.'s. My room is no different-my music collection occupies two shelves. Past the techno-rubble of the Eighties lie my current favorites, alternative rock. If a visitor were to turn on the stereo, he would find a couple presets devoted to "homework" music, classical and light jazz. I find that these sounds provide a sense of tranquility while trying to do homework, write reports, or complete college essays. My bed and surrounding areas represent my non-academic, more human interests. They personify the activities and hobbies which I truly enjoy, and provide a breather from some of the more rigorous aspects of life.

房間的另一邊是我的休閑區(qū)，通常在我的床邊上。床上散落著兩本我感興趣的雜志，MacWorld和Time。我每天都閱讀這些雜志，來保持與這個信息時代的同步。在我的衣柜上放著Stephen King的最新作品。他的故事可能不如Jane Austen或者Keats的作品有深度和內(nèi)涵，但是勝在很有趣味性。床上并沒有整理過，但我并沒有對這個感到不安。雖然我的母親不贊成我這么做，但我認(rèn)為這是休息和安靜的象征。我的床是多功能的，它的作用并不僅僅是睡眠。有時候我會躺在床上看著天花板來思考一些電視節(jié)目中的內(nèi)容或者大學(xué)里的生活，這樣集中精神的思考是我最享受的時光之一。很少有年輕人不在自己的房間里擺一套音響以及一堆磁帶或者CD的收集。我的房間也不例外，我擁有兩架子的音樂收藏。Eighties的techno-rubble類型的音樂是我現(xiàn)在的最愛。如果有訪客打開我的音響，他會播放的音樂類型是古典和輕爵士，我稱之為家庭作業(yè)音樂。我發(fā)現(xiàn)當(dāng)我要作家庭作業(yè)，寫報告或者完成一些大學(xué)里的寫作時，這些音樂能給我提供一種寧靜的感覺。我的床和周圍一圈表現(xiàn)了我課余生活和個人興趣。這些我喜歡的活動和愛好為我在緊張的生活中提供了一些喘息的時間。

After exiting my room, I would hope my visitor learned a few important things about me. I consider my academics seriously, and devote much of my time (and room) to them. However, they do not necessarily dominate my existence; loud music and Stephen King novels also play a role.

在走出我的房間后，我希望參觀者能更好的認(rèn)識我身上一些重新的東西。我對于學(xué)術(shù)方面非常認(rèn)真，并把我大部分的時間和房間的大部分空間都投入到學(xué)習(xí)上去。然而，這并不是我所有的生活，音樂和Stephen King的小說也是我生活的一部分。

Comments by Admissions Officers who Assisted in the Creation of this Course

錄取工作人員的點評：

Most of the admissions officers liked the question that the applicant chose to ask himself. "This is one I tell my students to prepare to answer when they go to an interview, " says one, "and the writer's response is a good one. He literally brings the question home." "Descriptive and informative, " writes another. While no one felt that this essay was strongly flawed, they made a number of suggestions about how the author could have rewritten the essay to create more of an impact.

大部分的錄取工作人員都喜歡申請人自問的這個問題。有人說，‘當(dāng)我的學(xué)生去參加面試時，我會讓他們準(zhǔn)備這個問題的答案。作者的回答很不錯。他一點一滴的把問題帶回家來解釋。’‘文章提供了很好的敘述和關(guān)于作者房間的信息’，另一位工作人員說。雖然沒人覺的這篇文章有什么很嚴(yán)重的硬傷，但他們給出了許多建議，關(guān)于作者該如何重寫這篇文章以給人更深的印象。

The writing style is a little too rigid. The writer should let go of the fear that he won't be taken seriously unless he uses a formal style. The writer should replace stodgy sounding phrases like "while touring my room, " with the more straightforward, "as you look around my room." If this were one of my students asking advice, I'd pat him on the back and say, "Lighten up, it's your bedroom. Don't use words like quietude and utilitarian. Relax and have fun with this."

寫作的風(fēng)格有些過于古板。作者可能擔(dān)心如果他不用一種正規(guī)的格式，那他的文章不會受到認(rèn)真的對待，他應(yīng)該把這樣的擔(dān)心拋到一邊。作者應(yīng)該把一些諸如‘當(dāng)參觀我的房間時’這樣聽起來很沉悶的句子換成更直白一點的‘當(dāng)你四處打量我的房間時’。如果是我的學(xué)生，我會拍著他的背說，‘輕松些，這是你的臥室。不要使用像quietude和utilitarian這些過于學(xué)術(shù)化的單詞。放松點，就當(dāng)成是娛樂。’

The last paragraph needs to be dropped altogether. If the essay has done it's job, recaps like this are obvious and unnecessary.

最后一段也需要刪掉。如果這篇文章已經(jīng)說出作者想要告訴我們的，那么最后一段的重復(fù)過于做作和多余。

This essay does not, unfortunately, convey an impression of a very active person. Whether or not he meant to, I picture the author as someone who spends a lot of time alone in his room playing with his computer and reading lightweight novels. I don't see what he would contribute to campus life. This is something that applicants to technical institutions in particular should be wary of. Admission officers at such places tend to be especially unreceptive to applicants who seem to believe that being a "computer jock" is all the credentials they need for admission.

很不幸，這篇文章并沒有讓人看到一個非常積極的人。不管作者是不是這個意思，我會把作者看成一個花很多時間在臥室里坐在電腦前和閱讀一些沒有深度的小說的人。我無法看到他會為學(xué)校做出什么貢獻(xiàn)。這是一些理工學(xué)院申請人特別要注意的地方。錄取工作人員是絕對不會把錄取信發(fā)給一些經(jīng)常沉迷與電腦的申請人。