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Chicago本科申請(qǐng)命題Essay——描述你最難忘的一次餐宴

2013年02月21日來(lái)源:美國(guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)作者: 萬(wàn)佳留學(xué)
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[Describe Your Most Memorable Meal ]

To me, there is nothing better than a good "home-cooked" Italian meal. Keeping this in mind, what could be better than eating such a meal in Italy cooked by relatives that you have never seen before in the medieval village of your ancestors. Two summers ago, I attended just such an event, alone!

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a hot, muggy Mediterranean day. I was sitting on the steps of Santa Croce Square in Florence waiting for my rented driver to arrive. After becoming one with the pavement, my eyes beheld a dark blue Alfa Romeo pull up in front of me. Upon seeing this, I thought to myself, "This is definitely going to be an experience that I will NEVER forget!" After trying to explain where I wanted to go, we were finally on our way to Monticatini where I was to meet some of my relatives for the first time. To get there, we traveled a steady rate of 85 to 110 mph-and I loved it! After aimlessly looking for the street I hoped was called Via [name], we found the house. Standing there was a man I had never seen before, yet I knew he was related. His name was [name] and he spoke no English. Despite this little difficulty, he was to serve as my tour guide for the rest of the day.

As I walked into the house, I can remember what a strange feeling it was to look on the outside wall and see "(name)" so far away from MY home. I swear that I had to of checked the spelling of the name a thousand times before I was really convinced it was the same. Upon entering the house, I was greeted by some of the others that lived there with a traditional Italian style greeting. Among them was [name], ironically an Italian banker, who was now to take over the driving duties to our final destination-Pontito.

It was now down to the four of us: [name], [name], [name] (a friend to help translate, ) and myself who set off by car to the medieval village of my ancestors-Pontito. As we wound up the 8,000 ft of hair-pin curved roads into the mountains, I finally caught sight of the stalwart village. Suddenly, I began to remember when I visited there as a little boy with my parents and brother and how little time I got to spend there. This time, I was determined to enjoy my relatives and the village much more.

After we parked our car and walked into the narrow passageways of the village, [Name] was quick to point out the carved statue of Pontito's founder, my relative. We then proceeded to go to the house where my remaining relatives lived at the present time. At the door, I was greeted by [name], [name], and [name] who, of course, are the relatives who live there. As I walked in, it felt like I was in a time warp. Nothing had changed since I was there as an eight year old boy. It was exactly the same!

After some discussion, we sat down to eat what could very well be the most memorable dinner of my life. At the table, I was joined only by the men of the family. As is accustomed for them, the women, who cooked the meal, were only to serve us as we ate. Before we were served, I asked what in the world the old carved stone ball in the center of the huge wooden table we were eating off of was. To show how old this place is, I was told that it was once used to throw down the mountain at invading villagers who tried to take over Pontito. Do you realize how old that must be?

Finally, as I was looking out of the window into the hazy mountains and valleys below and watched the sun rays bounce off of the stone floor, (electricity was a recent discovery to Pontito, they only had one light bulb, ) dinner was served, and served, and served! Not expecting the eight-course meal I was about to receive, I was already full after the first round of pasta. I sat there and watched my relatives put away food like it was water. After a while, somewhere around the prochuetto or the veal courses, they started to ask me why I was not eating everything. I didn't know what to do. I was so full that I was ready to explode but I couldn't explain this to the crying women who thought I hated her food-so I ate! I ate so much food from then on that I couldn't even look at food for the next two days. I even drank two cups of coffee to make her happy, and I HATE coffee! Don't get me wrong, the food was great, but there was enough to feed twenty people.

Another thing that amazed me was how much wine everyone consumed. Between the five men at the table, the drank eight bottles of homemade red wine and weren't even slightly affected! As for me, I was absolutely thrilled to be drinking water that was taken from the natural mountain spring trough once used by my ancestors many, many years ago. It was such pure, untouched water, (although it is said that one of my American relatives when visiting died two minutes after drinking the water for the first time for no apparent reason!)

Then, after eating more food than I can handle in a week, it was time to go. We said our good-byes and proceeded down the mountain to the car. Although desperately trying to keep my eyes awake, I feel asleep until we returned to Monticatini. There, after [name] took me to the local Ferrari dealership, I went to Monticatini Terme where I took a train back to Florence. On that train, I just sat there and tried to grasp the full concept of what had just happened that day. I thought of how fortunate I was to have been able to visit with relatives and trace my heritage back so far. I thought about the graves that I had seen in Pontito with "(name)" etched into them and what those relatives lives must have been like. Now, after I have long since returned to my home in America, I still think about Pontito and that incredible meal I enjoyed there. As I think about it now, the only way that meal can be topped would be to someday see MY children sitting at that same wooden table and experiencing exactly what I did.
Comments by Admissions Officers who Assisted in the Creation of this Course

The applicant needs to work on the writing style. The admissions officers generally liked the story itself. Below are their specific comments:

The author creates an unintended tension in this essay between what he wants us to know and what he actually tells us. Reflecting upon his visit to Pontito as a child, he writes, "This time, I was determined to enjoy my relatives and the village much more." What a fascinating premise for a personal essay! It offers the opportunity for reflection on how he has grown since childhood, on what it means to commune with family in an utterly foreign environment, on the significance of making this visit alone-all framed within the description of a traditional Italian family dinner. And he drops hints throughout the essay that this is what made the visit and the meal significant: the statue of his ancestor who founded Pontito, the sign with his surname on the entrance to the house, the stone ball on the table, the desire to see his children have the same experience. But he never goes any further. Rather than explaining how and why these icons hold real meaning for him, he essentially writes, "This just blows my mind!" In that respect, they have no more significance in this essay than the Alfa Romeo or zipping through the countryside at 100 m.p.h. or the amount of food everyone ate or how much wine they drank or the fact that he managed to choke down two cups of coffee. In other words, because he makes no real distinctions between those things which hold ancestral and cultural relevance to him and those which are trivial by comparison, everything is reduced to the state of being "cool." Not until the final paragraph do we get the sense that he has grown from this experience. I wish he had started there instead; it could have been a powerful essay.

[Beware of] wearisome transitions: "As I walked, " "After we parked, " "After some discussion, " "As I was looking out, " "After eating more food."

點(diǎn)評(píng):

作者在文中運(yùn)用了一種無(wú)意識(shí)的緊張的氣氛的帶領(lǐng)我們?nèi)チ私馑l(fā)生的事。反映出當(dāng)他還是小孩時(shí)就參Pontito,他這樣寫到,這時(shí),我更加確定了要去喜愛(ài)我的親戚和這個(gè)村莊。在個(gè)人的文書中這是一種迷人的敘述。它給了一種機(jī)會(huì)去反映了從他還是小孩子起到他長(zhǎng)大時(shí)的映像,重要的是體現(xiàn)作者出獨(dú)自參觀村莊,外加描述了一次意大利當(dāng)?shù)丶彝サ牟脱?。在寫參觀的過(guò)程和對(duì)餐宴的重要性時(shí)埋下了伏筆:在Pontito發(fā)現(xiàn)了他祖先的雕像,在入口處發(fā)現(xiàn)了他的姓氏,在桌上的石球和那種希望他的孩子也有相同經(jīng)歷的愿望。但是作者沒(méi)有寫更深一步的含義,就像這些映像怎樣和為什么對(duì)作者有重大意義,他只是寫了,這個(gè)沖擊了我的思想。在文中有帶有一些沒(méi)有意義的東西,就像阿爾法羅密歐以100m.p.h.快速得穿過(guò)城郊,他們總共吃了多少食物喝了多少酒和他設(shè)法咽下兩杯咖啡。換句話說(shuō),因?yàn)樗麤](méi)有實(shí)際的寫出他的祖先和文化和他的相關(guān)性,以及他們之間的細(xì)小的比較,每件事都?xì)w于“酷”。直到最后一節(jié),我們都沒(méi)有感覺(jué)到他在這次經(jīng)歷中的成長(zhǎng)。把這些不必要得描述都換去的話,這將是一篇好文章。并當(dāng)心乏味的變換,就像"As I walked, " "After we parked, " "After some discussion, " "As I was looking out, " "After eating more food."

譯文:

命題要求:描述你最難忘的一次餐宴。

對(duì)于我來(lái)說(shuō),沒(méi)有任何事比享受家庭烹飪意大利餐更好的事了。帶著這種思想,沒(méi)有比享受一下在一個(gè)從沒(méi)去過(guò)的古老的,你祖先的村莊并享受由你的親戚做出來(lái)得意大利餐更好的事了。2年前,我就參加了像這樣的一個(gè)活動(dòng),一個(gè)人!

我的印象就像是昨天。 那天像是地中海氣候,很熱很悶。我坐在佛羅倫薩的Santa Croce廣場(chǎng)的階梯上等待我的租用司機(jī)的到來(lái)。之后在一條公路上,我的眼睛被一輛??吭谖疑砬暗暮谒{(lán)色的阿爾法羅密歐吸引了。看到這些,我想起了我自己,“這將是一次對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)難忘的經(jīng)歷”。在我解釋了我要去的地方后,最終我們上了去Monticellite的道路,一個(gè)我第一次見(jiàn)我親戚的地方。去那的路上,我們行使在一個(gè)穩(wěn)定的,我喜愛(ài)的速度85到110時(shí)速。在我漫無(wú)目的的查找我希望的那個(gè)叫?后,終于我們找到了那個(gè)屋子。站在那里的男人我從來(lái)沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò),之后我知道他是有關(guān)系的。他叫?他不會(huì)說(shuō)英文。盡管有些困難,他還是在我剩下的日子里當(dāng)我的導(dǎo)游。

當(dāng)我走進(jìn)屋子,我記得那是一種很陌生的感覺(jué)當(dāng)我看到外面的墻上寫著?,一個(gè)離我家很遠(yuǎn)的地方,我發(fā)誓那個(gè)就是我不得不檢查拼寫1000遍的名字在我真正確信它是相同的之前。在我進(jìn)入屋子后,我用當(dāng)?shù)匾獯罄降膯?wèn)候問(wèn)候了在那屋子的其他人。在他們之中有個(gè)叫?諷刺的說(shuō)是一位意大利的銀行家現(xiàn)在接任駕駛的職務(wù)帶我們?nèi)プ罱K的目的地Pontito。

現(xiàn)在只剩下我們4個(gè)人:???(一位幫助翻譯的朋友)和我,乘車去我的老式的祖先住的村莊Pontito。 當(dāng)我們激動(dòng)從8000英尺的發(fā)夾一樣彎曲的道路進(jìn)入山里,我終于瞥見(jiàn)了那個(gè)村莊。突然,我想起當(dāng)我還是個(gè)小男孩時(shí)就和我的父母,兄弟在這里逗留拜訪了一小會(huì)。這時(shí),我更加確定了要去喜愛(ài)我的親戚和這個(gè)村莊。

在我們停放了我們的車,穿過(guò)狹窄的過(guò)道走進(jìn)村莊時(shí),很快的指出了那個(gè)Pontito的創(chuàng)始人的雕像,我的親戚。然后我們向那個(gè)目前還有我剩余的親戚住的房子出發(fā)。在進(jìn)門時(shí),我向??和?問(wèn)好,當(dāng)然那些是住在這里的我的親戚。當(dāng)我走進(jìn)房間,它給我的感覺(jué)像是時(shí)間的彎曲。和我八歲時(shí)來(lái)這里的景象一樣,沒(méi)有任何變化。真的是一模一樣。

在我們交談了一會(huì)之后,我們坐下享受餐宴,這是一頓非常好得在我一生中最難忘的一餐。在餐桌上,我加入了在這個(gè)家庭只有男人享受的待遇。就像他們的習(xí)慣,當(dāng)我們吃飯時(shí)由燒飯的人來(lái)服務(wù),女人。在我們進(jìn)餐前,我問(wèn)起我們吃飯那個(gè)巨大木桌中間那古老的石雕球究竟是什么。為了表現(xiàn)這地方有多古老,我被告知這石球曾被用于向山下丟擲試圖入侵Pontito的村民的。你應(yīng)當(dāng)認(rèn)識(shí)到了這有多古老了吧?

最后,我留意窗外的朦朧的山脈和下面的山谷,看到太陽(yáng)的光線反射到石頭的地板上,(電器在Pontito是一項(xiàng)新的發(fā)明,他們只有一電燈泡)正餐被供應(yīng),供應(yīng),再供應(yīng)!我沒(méi)有像預(yù)期的那樣接受八道菜,在吃了第一道的意大利面食之后我就飽了。我坐在那里看著我的親戚進(jìn)餐就像是喝水。一會(huì)之后,大約在上prochuetto/小牛肉的時(shí)候,他們開(kāi)始問(wèn)我為什么我不吃任何東西。我不知道該怎么做。我飽得準(zhǔn)備爆炸了但我不能解釋讓那個(gè)女人認(rèn)為我討厭她的食物而哭。之后我吃了很多甚至后2天我都不想看到食物了。我甚至喝了兩杯咖啡使她高興,我討厭咖啡。不要認(rèn)為我不正常,食物非常好,但是那足夠填飽20個(gè)人了。

另一件讓我驚奇的是每個(gè)人消滅了多少酒。5個(gè)人在餐桌上,喝完8瓶自制的紅酒盡然沒(méi)有明顯得反映。對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō),喝那里的水絕對(duì)讓我發(fā)抖,要知道那是從很久很久以前我親戚用的天然山泉水槽取出來(lái)得水。它是這樣的純,無(wú)與倫比的水,(盡管我的一位美國(guó)親戚游覽這里時(shí)第一次喝這種水,2分鐘后竟然沒(méi)有任何明顯的原因死去)。

之后,我吃得食物多過(guò)我一個(gè)星期吃得,是時(shí)候離開(kāi)了。我們道了別向山下的車走去,盡管我設(shè)法使我的眼睛清醒,在我們返回Monticatini的路上,我感覺(jué)睡著了。在我去了那里當(dāng)?shù)氐姆ɡ聿恐?,我從Monticatini Terme坐上了去佛羅倫薩的火車。在火車上,我坐在那里設(shè)法去回想那天所發(fā)生的完全的概念。我想我是多么幸運(yùn)我能去拜訪我的親戚和能追溯我很早以前的傳統(tǒng)。我思索著那個(gè)在Pontito被風(fēng)化的墓地和那相同的親戚們的生活。現(xiàn)在,自從從那里回到我的美國(guó)的家很久以后,我仍然想著Pontito和在那我享受的不可思議的餐宴。當(dāng)我現(xiàn)在想起它時(shí),唯一能結(jié)束那食物的就是有一天我的孩子坐在那相同的木桌上和正確的體驗(yàn)一下那時(shí)我所感受得。

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