第一,字?jǐn)?shù)過長(zhǎng)。有的居然達(dá)到了1400字。Ps應(yīng)該在800字左右,很多學(xué)校明確規(guī)定ps是300到500字,還有的學(xué)校要求是3500個(gè)字符之內(nèi)。因此,除非特別要求,大家前往不要把ps寫得太長(zhǎng),否則你千辛萬苦努力的結(jié)果就是人家看也不看,仍進(jìn)垃圾桶了。密歇根大學(xué)在其ps要求中提到的,你要follow required format and word limits
第二,ps第一段,大家寫作各有各的風(fēng)格,但普遍存在文不對(duì)題空喊口號(hào)的問題。大家要把第一段寫得獨(dú)特和吸引眼球(Make your opening statement and first paragraph to be eye-catching and unique)。有的同學(xué)是拿著自己人生中一段非凡的經(jīng)歷開始,不過,這種經(jīng)歷肯定是要與專業(yè)有關(guān)的,否則就不要去寫。有的同學(xué)以自己的家鄉(xiāng)或者院校出了名人去寫,就是離題太遠(yuǎn)了。有個(gè)同學(xué)寫自己申請(qǐng)經(jīng)濟(jì),結(jié)果上來就談起了自己高中喜歡讀莎士比亞喜歡問問題,然后突然轉(zhuǎn)到自己非常喜歡研究經(jīng)濟(jì)。大家應(yīng)該想想,這種思路是否讓人暈頭轉(zhuǎn)向。還有的直接就寫想申請(qǐng)某某院校的某某專業(yè),然后就完了開始第二段,這種開頭完全就是廢話。有的同學(xué)反復(fù)照抄網(wǎng)上所謂的范文,一點(diǎn)新意也沒有,看下面這句。Forrest Gump’s mom said life was like a box a chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. She’s right. On my 13th Birthday, besides a big chocolate cake, I also got a card。。。
Ps第一段應(yīng)該以言簡(jiǎn)意賅的語言精練地提出文章的亮點(diǎn)所在,開頭不宜故弄玄虛,不宜寫成抒情散文,應(yīng)該開門見山。有的同學(xué)申請(qǐng)博士,還在第一段談起了初中的東西,并且語言非常不地道,翻譯痕跡非常重。比如這句However, my brave nature dominated and made me stand again to confront the unsuccessfulness.
另外,不要用第三人稱寫。有的同學(xué)這樣寫,“Hey, it works!” the little boy was swamped with a sense of satisfaction。。。the little boy, actually I, has been in love with the fascinating...個(gè)人陳述是寫個(gè)人的,不要站在第三者角度,否則那就是推薦信了。
第三,下面談?wù)勚虚g部分。很多人寫完第一段后,馬上就開始這樣的句式,Born in...,...Province in China on August 22,1980, after the National University Entrance Examination in 2000, I was accepted by XXX. Upon the acceptance, my major became…Here, I received strict training not only in ….but also in …大家一定記住,ps不要去重復(fù)其它留學(xué)文書,比如推薦信和簡(jiǎn)歷中將要出現(xiàn)的內(nèi)容。不要都說,你以多少的成績(jī)考入了什么大學(xué),是什么專業(yè),然后開始列舉出一堆獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)。我們看看康乃爾大學(xué)ps寫作要求(http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/cornell.htm). A personal statement is generally most effective when it concentrates on:(應(yīng)該集中在以下幾點(diǎn)時(shí),ps才特別有說服力)這些方面是: an issue or experience that you feel strongly about, or one that has helped to shape who you are ;a significant accomplishment or contribution you have made to your field or community。你一定要去掉那些自我陶醉的、含糊不清的、過于抽象的東西,不要列舉你得到了什么獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)(avoid self-congratulatory statements vague, abstract ideals laundry lists of achievements jargon and specialized vocabulary)
另外,大家都喜歡介紹自己的學(xué)校,但是你的介紹的要具體生動(dòng),不要總喜歡用什么prestigious和famous之類的話。有的同學(xué)這樣寫道, I went into a Univ. which won great reputation in telecommunication and IT field in China. 什么叫g(shù)reat reputation,有什么具體概念嗎?大家不用停留在介紹學(xué)校方面,應(yīng)該通過這種介紹迅速轉(zhuǎn)入一點(diǎn):你受到了high qualified的教育。
最大的問題,ps不要寫成流水帳,每個(gè)段落要有核心句子。比如有的同學(xué)這樣寫道。In the first year , I was just a discreet learner, following the teacher’s step steadily . The second year , leader’s work in student government cost most of my time ,so I tried to be more efficient 這根本就不是.ps,只能算回憶錄。請(qǐng)注意:你要把最重要的信息放在段落的開頭和結(jié)尾(Put the most important sentences at the beginning and end of the paragraph. When people skim passages, they look at the first and then the last sentence. Make a good first and last impression with substantive statements. Don't begin or end on fluff.)
第四, 除非特別要求,不要寫成問答式的。有很多同學(xué)這樣寫。First, My old dream played a key role in my decision-making,然后一大段介紹。Second, My solid academic background,然后下面再一大段。一直到第六個(gè)My Family background。還有的同學(xué)這樣寫。WHY IS MATHEMATICS? WHY ME?這絕對(duì)不是ps,千千萬萬要避免這種回答。如同華盛頓大學(xué)ps寫作要求中提到的(http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/wash.htm)Avoid overly common phrases and nonspecific information.(避免用那些太平常的詞組或者不具體的信息)。
第五, 不要寫為國(guó)家和社會(huì)主義做貢獻(xiàn)之內(nèi)的比較空泛的話。Besides traveling to Taiwan, realizing the importance of experiencing the real world, in the past three years, I have grasped every opportunity to travel far and observe the dynamic society and economy of China.不要用同樣的句式,比如有的同學(xué)總是喜歡用impress deeply這樣的話,甚至一個(gè)段落中反復(fù)使用,要么就是不停地說intelligent。還有的就是句式雷同,Computer animation is my favorite and first choice,然后隔兩句就寫my primary and foremost interest lies in graphics and design。語言問題還有頭重腳輕。比如Most computer majors look over this task because they consider it too easy; nonetheless, I do not agree.實(shí)際上,語言問題還是小問題。你可以花100元錢請(qǐng)個(gè)認(rèn)真負(fù)責(zé)的老外,找個(gè)學(xué)校的角落修改一下,一遍communicate what you wish to say。實(shí)際上,關(guān)鍵的問題就是內(nèi)容設(shè)置和結(jié)構(gòu)布局。
精彩活動(dòng) 海外院校 升學(xué)導(dǎo)師 成功案例 背景提升 國(guó)際游學(xué) 海外服務(wù)
留學(xué)國(guó)家: 美國(guó) 加拿大 英國(guó) 澳大利亞 新西蘭 亞洲國(guó)家 歐洲國(guó)家
院校推薦: 美國(guó)大學(xué)院校 英國(guó)大學(xué)院校 澳洲大學(xué)院校 加拿大大學(xué)院校 新西蘭大學(xué)院校